My 46er Journey - Part 10 - Haystack and Basin

September 2018 came fast and it was time to head back to the Adirondacks.  This trip however was to be much different, from the planning stages, through the end.  I wrote about this trip briefly in a previous post regarding my first time participating in 46 Climbs, you can find that post here.  I kept that entry short and left out some key points which were to be incorporated more in to this series, so hold tight cause this one is an emotional rollercoaster.

Many things were different about this trip since before we even got in the car.  For the first time, I was bringing my son Nicholas with me up to the Adirondacks.  He had done some climbs back home in Virginia with me a few times, but this was to be his first real test in the mountains.  Dan picked him up and headed over and we hit the road.  Not only was my son coming with me, I was also participating in 46 Climbs for the first time, and even better, Sunday September 2nd was my 3 year sobriety anniversary.  This trip also marked the first time we brought food with us, what a difference maker that became!!  Chicken sandwiches, eggs bacon and potatoes, and no Burger King, life was good and we felt like kings.

We hit the trail early Friday morning and headed to John's Brook Lodge, we were going to camp at the sites just past the lodge and made great time getting there.  We decided to set up camp and grab some grub before heading out.  We knew we had a long day ahead of us as we planned to get 3 peaks so fuel was a necessity.  Nicholas was doing great and keeping up, I was so happy to have my boy with me, and Dan was being Dan cracking jokes, smiling, and helping to lead the way.

We slogged our way up to Haystack, it was a busy day and we passed many hikers along the way.  After scrambling up to Little Haystack and then finally realizing we were at the wrong summit, we made it the rest of the way to Haystack for Nicholas' first high peak.  We relaxed for a few minutes and snacked.  We were socked in the clouds and couldn't see anything, but a slight break in the sky above us shown some blue and that energized us to carry on.  We headed over to Basin, by this time the long drive and lack of rest was catching up with us and our pace slowed.  The scrambles up the mountain were fun and Nicholas really enjoyed them.  We found our way to the top as the winds were picking up and the clouds were thickening.  We had never heard of the Saddleback cliffs which were in our route to the next peak.  We were informed by some other guys at the summit of Basin of them and with the rocks being slippery and uncertainty of what may lie ahead, we decided to forego Saddleback for another day.

This was a tough call for me as I was climbing for charity today, but also because we had now orphaned a peak in the middle of the great range.  At some point, we would have to come back for it.  We slowly made our way back to camp and the sun set on another beautiful day in the mountains.  Returning back to Slant Rock we ran in to an older gentleman who seemed to be in some trouble.  The man was shoeless, apparently his boots blew out coming down Mt Marcy and he had hiked back barefoot.  Andy was his name, an Adirondack veteran of about 70 years of age.  Dan gave him his crocks and asked if he needed anything else.  After making sure he was going to be ok for the night, we proceeded back to our camp.

We were all exhausted and after a brief meal we were out cold for the night.  The next morning we woke early, ate breakfast, and broke camp.  It was about that time that we saw Andy pass by with 2 other hikers carrying his pack for him.  It was nice to see he made it through the night and was safe and on his way home.  We headed out and eventually caught up with the group and hiked out together.  Andy and Dan were cutting up the whole time and made for a fun walk out of the woods.

Back in the car and headed home, we took our time getting back but were all anxious to sleep in a bed.  It was my anniversary and felt great to have started it in the woods with a man I called a brother and my son.  I was on top of the world once again, and once again, reality was about to set in.  I got back home and went about with life.  I celebrated with some great friends that week and things were going great.  I had been working with a boy named TJ for a few months and the week prior he had called to tell me he wasn't going to be attending meetings anymore, I didn't answer the phone but had talked to him through text.  I told him I would call him later that day to talk, he didn't answer.

Thursday night after my meeting Laura and I were sitting outside talking when I got a phone call around 10pm.  I'll never forget those words, "Did you hear about TJ?  He died".  Even now 2 years later writing this I well up with tears.  He had the most beautiful smile and could light up a room just by walking in it, his eyes cried of a boy who just wanted to be OK, a man who loved his son more than anything, he was genuine, loving, and funny.  I loved him so much, and always will.  I hardly slept that night, Laura and I laid in bed silent, I gazed at the ceiling and just couldn't comprehend that he was gone.

A group of us attended his funeral the following week and it was incredibly difficult.  I got to meet his family and tell them who I was, and who we were.  They were very appreciative of the help we had given him over the previous months, however they will never know the impact he had on me.  I'll never forget him and every year on my anniversary I make sure to make it known that while I am celebrating, myself, his family, and his beautiful son are all grieving for the loss of the most amazing young man I've ever known.  

I love you and miss you TJ.

My 46er Journey - Part 8 - The Interlude

Roan Mountain State Park - Tennessee

In February 2018 we returned home to Virginia from our previous trip to the Adirondacks.  We had now climbed 13 of the 46 high peaks in the Adirondacks and were getting excited about continuing our journey.  We had learned so much since that first trip less than a year prior.  So much about the mountains, the road, the experience, and ourselves.  We had learned to just keep going when you think you can't go on anymore.  We had learned that there's always something deep down inside that can push you through any adversary.  We had learned that we could rely on each other, and that things often don't work out the way you planned.

Returning home, I knew I had much uncertainty about my future.  I still hadn't found a job and the bills were piling up.  I was falling for this beautiful girl and afraid to tell her that I was unsure what was going to happen.  I didn't want to hurt someone, I didn't want to bring my baggage on to someone, I didn't want to expose myself to someone.  Then the day came, a note on the door to pick up a certified letter from the post office.  My heart sank, my stomach churned, my anxiety rose, the time had come.  I went and retrieved the letter and came back home to open it.  I had until the 31st of March to pay all the back payments on my house, or vacate the property.

Me on Grandfather Mountain, NC

There was no way I could come up with the over $8,000 that was owed to bring my payments up to date.  There was no way I could face myself or own up to this to anyone.  So I did the logical thing, and tucked the letter away and didn't say anything to anyone.  A few days went by and I knew I had to do something, so I met with my mentor and told him what was going on.  He made a few suggestions then asked if I was going to tell Laura.  I knew I obviously had to, but I didn't want to.  What would she think, would she leave, would she think I was a loser, would she never talk to me again.  Truth is, it didn't matter, because she was going to find out one way or another.  That evening I made us dinner and sat her down at the table and told her I was losing my house.  I explained everything and waited for the inevitable.  She looked at me and said "OK, well I guess we have to start packing".  WHAT!?!  Really!?!  You're not leaving?  You're not going to call me out for the loser I am?  Why?

Laura and I at Harper's Ferry, WV

She offered me encouragement and support, she helped pack when I couldn't.  At this point, we had 2 weeks to empty this house, sell what I could, throw away the trash, and pack what I couldn't sell in to storage.  Dan helped as much as he could too, and together the 3 of us got the house vacated just in time.

God had a plan all along, and He knew what He was doing.  I questioned time and time again throughout the whole ordeal but by this point I had learned to trust Him.  The last day, at the last moment, right before leaving my neighbor came out.  We had become pretty close over the years as he too was a recovering alcoholic with 18 years of sobriety.  I told him I lost the house and wasn't sure what I was going to do or even where I was going.  I told him "I can't believe with over 2 years sober I'm homeless", he looked at me and said "So what?  I was homeless at 10 years sober and God took care of me.  He will take care of you too."  I thanked him for everything and told him I would see him around.  I got in the car and pulled away.

I went to Laura's that night as she had offered for me to stay there till I figured things out.  Dan and I had a trip planned the next day and I figured the mountains would offer some solutions.  By this time Laura and I were officially a thing, but I wasn't too sure about the commitment of officially moving in together.  I knew though to do what I had been doing for 2 1/2 years now, take it one day at a time.

Dan and I at Roan Mountain, TN

Dan and I headed down to Tennessee for a few days to explore.  We stayed at Roan Mountain State Park and hiked all over Roan Mountain.  We took a day to do Grandfather Mountain in Western North Carolina, and explored a portion of the Linville Gorge.  It was a great trip and we both became homesick, or homeless sick in my case, and headed back to Virginia a few days early.

After getting back I decided I would "stay" with Laura, but I wasn't "moving in".  This became a source of comic relief for her and Dan as I refused to unpack my bags even though she had emptied a dresser for me.  I was so scared, even though she had proven to me time and time again over the past few months her dedication to me and to us, but what if I mess it up?  That's what I've always done.  Even with all the confidence I'd gained through the mountains and life, there was still that fear of failure lingering not just in the back, but all over my mind.

Me, Laura, Ken, and Dan at Hawksbill Mountain, NC

I was still struggling with the job situation but was told "just do the footwork", so I did.  I continued to apply for jobs, I got quite a few interviews and I went to them all.  Since I wasn't working and couldn't contribute financially, I pulled my weight around the house.  I cooked dinner every night, cleaned up, continued to look for work, and trusted God that everything will be alright.  Dan and I had planned to head up to New York again in June for a week or two to knock out more peaks.  By this time we had tossed around the notion of finishing our 46er on his 46th birthday which was just under 2 years away.  We knew we had our work cut out for us, but we were willing to do our best to make it happen.  We continued to hike and took a memorial day trip back to Roan Mountain with Laura and our friend Ken and the excitement for the summer continued to build.

Then it happened.  I got a job.  Start date; June 13th.

The mountains would have to wait.  God had different plans...again.

My 46er Journey - Part 7 - Dial and Nippletop

View of the Great Range from the summit of Nippletop

Making dinner at the High Peaks Hotel

A few weeks after returning from our last trip up north there we were once again in the car heading north.  Dan and I had signed up for a crampon and ice axe class for the next morning then planned to grab Dial and Nippletop mountains.  This trip was being planned on a budget so we decided to check in to what has since been dubbed "The High Peaks Hotel".  The hotel is anything but, it's actually just the welcome center rest area for the high peaks region of the Adirondacks.  We arrived late and grabbed the stove out of the trunk for a nice dinner of chicken and rice.  We found the whole ordeal hilarious, little did we know just how much of a tradition this would become.

We woke up the next morning and got dressed and headed out to the Cascade trailhead for our class.  The class was hosted by Adirondack Mountain Rescue, and our instructor was absolutely amazing.  The class was small, 5 or 6 of us in total.  We went over basic crampon and ice axe techniques.  These skills were invaluable resources that we would begin to put in to practice immediately.  The class finished up and we headed to lake road to tackle what we thought would be an easy day.

There are 2 main routes to Dial and Nippletop, one you climb almost immediately, the 2nd you go a few miles down Lake Road then tackle Nippletop first.  We chose the latter of the 2 routes figuring it would be easier to knock out the miles at the start and go for a steeper climb.  It was a beautiful day in the Adirondacks.  Temps were hovering right around freezing, and just a few miles in we were shedding clothes.  As the ascent began we passed a group descending on their butt sleds.  The joy and laughter from the girls coming down the mountain was infecting.  I still remember just how much fun they were having being out there.  It encouraged us to press on.

As always the conversation was good and helped to ease the pain of the steep climb.  About a mile from the top we stopped for a break and to feed our stomachs.  Not surprisingly the climb was taking longer than expected, but we pressed on.  Eventually we reached the ridge and the split, we took a right and made our way to the summit of Nippletop.  We snapped a few photos and enjoyed the amazing view we had of the Great Range.  After a few minutes we decided to get going, it was getting late and obvious we weren't going to make it back before dark.

Trail to Nippletop on the ridge

The trek to the summit of Dial was grueling.  We were tired, and the sun was just about down.  The wind was picking up and the sound of frozen trees swaying back and forth filled the air.  A few weeks back we had bushwacked up the side of Spruce Knob, the highest point in the state of West Virginia, during a storm.  All I could imagine was one of those widow makers coming down.  We pressed on, the conversation dimmed as did the last remaining light from the sun.  By the time we reached the summit it was pitch black minus the glow from our headlamps.  No pictures, no celebration, no congratulations, just more steps.  Exhaustion had passed and finally I hit the wall, "get me off of this fucking mountain" were the exact words.

Dan and I have spent enough time together on the mountain that we know each other's limits, and each other's moments.  We always tend to hit that wall at different times, tonight it was my wall that was hit first.  We found a rock and sat.  It was cold, late, dark, and windy, but without some fuel we weren't going to make it much further.  I forced myself to eat some snacks I had in my pack.  A brownie, some Cheetos, a few peanuts.  Swished around some water and after about 15 minutes we were back on our feet.  We trudged on, up and down and up and down.  We failed to realize this ridge was more of a rolling ridge than an easy descent.  The beautiful day that had started with frozen waterfalls, laughs of strangers, and views of the Great Range, had diminished to a cold, dark, dreaded slug back to the car.  Eventually the rolling stopped and it was just downhill.  The warm weather had melted a lot of the snow in the lower elevations so we were dealing with lots of ice.  We slowly navigated down thankful for our gear to give us the grip needed.

A few hours later we were back on Lake Road.  Flat Lake Road.  Steady downhill Lake Road.  Relief set in and the pace quickened.  Finally back at the car I sat on the guard rail on the side of the road and just breathed.  I looked at Dan and said, "I'm ready to go back".  Just a few hours after declaring to be off the mountain I was ready to be back on.  There's something about the mountain that just draws you back in.  It beats you up, teases you, breaks your heart, and gives you this sense of accomplishment that you have fought and been granted a chance that day.  A chance to make it to the top, but also, a chance to get back home.

Summit of Nippletop

We undressed and hit the High Peaks Hotel for a quick bath in the sinks and headed down the road.  I awoke around 5am in a parking lot with Dan snoring.  The original plan was to grab Big Slide on Sunday but exhausted and dehydrated we decided to start the trek home.  We decided to make a stop in Saratoga and check out the Battlefield.  Saratoga was the site of an important battle during the revolutionary war.  Being from George Washington's hometown I've always enjoyed different things dealing with the war so I was excited to stop and check it out.  We spent a few hours walking the battlefield before heading home.

We knew this would be our last trip to the Adirondacks for a few months as spring was moving in and with it the dreaded mud season.  We had a big trip planned for June to come up and bag a bunch of peaks and spend a few days in the woods.  As I would soon learn, and have to come to terms with is that my plans are not always God's plans.  But right now, I was elated to be heading home, alive, warm, all my digits, and an amazing women waiting for me when I got there.

Saratoga Battlefield

My 46er Journey - Part 6 - Lower WolfJaw Mountain

Dan atop Roostercomb Mountain

2017 was such a great year, I learned and accomplished so much, and came so far from that trip to Boston for New Years.  I was learning to love myself, and learning to love those around me.  It had taken over 2 years of hard emotional, mental, and spiritual work to get to this point and it was beginning to pay off.  A few weeks after our return from New York we were back in the car and heading to the great white north again.

This time we had a traveling partner.  I had just started seeing this wonderful girl and had asked her to tag along with us, to which she agreed.  Little did I know in just a few short months she would become one of the greatest mountains I was to climb to date.  You see, she kind of snuck right on in during this journey, I was so focused on trying to right myself and accomplish some goals, I didn't even see it coming.

The trip north this time was an interesting one.  It was cold and rainy when we left Virginia.  The forecast was calling for snow so we got an early start expecting a longer than usual trip.  I drove the first few hours till the weather started changing at which point I asked Dan to drive.  The miles progressed, and so did the hours.  I fell asleep only to wake up many hours from our destination and the sun rising.  We were in an all our winter storm.  My confidence in Dan's driving was high, until it was time to merge back on to the interstate.  There was a truck barreling down and we needed all the momentum we could muster to get up the hill and on to clean pavement, slowing down to merge we finally came to that dreaded stop, in 8 inches of fresh unplowed snow.  And stop we did.  After what seemed an eternity, Dan got us going and on to the highway.  Around 10am we finally rolled in to Queensbury to check in to our hotel.  They graciously let us check in early and we headed in to town for food.

Laura and I in Keene, NY

This trip was quite different from any of the others.  I don't know if it was having a gorgeous girl on my arm, or the lobster bisque at the small town shop we stumbled upon, but I was feeling pretty good.  We explored the town and headed back to the hotel, we had a long day ahead of us tomorrow as we were set to begin our assault on the Great Range, an approximately 12 mile long stretch of 7 peaks over 4,000 feet.  Often regarded as one of the toughest traverses in the lower 48, we were heading to make our mark and begin our attempt to complete it, not in one shot though.  We knew it was going to be tough, but we were up for the challenge.

The next morning we woke and headed toward the trailhead, after gearing up and being seen off by my beautiful new friend, Dan and I hit the trail.  It was an average winter day in the Adirondacks, about 10° at the trailhead, with sub-zero temps expected at elevation.  We felt good, strong, and motivated.  The trail was unbroked with the exception of a path left by one curious and generous little rabbit.  We made our way up and up and up.  This was one of our easiest climbs yet up here and we felt great, we finally summitted Lower Wolfjaw Mountain.  We decided to leave Upper Wolfjaw for another time and take a different route back in to Keene.  This route would lead us to Roostercomb Mountain.  We weren't terribly excited about this as it wasn't a 46er, but decided to bag it anyways.  We didn't regret this decision.  Roostercomb turned out to be a spectacular little peak with amazing views.  We stood there for about 30 minutes taking photos and just reveling in how far we had come.

We headed back down and towards the Noonmark Diner.  Dan was able to get a call out from the summit of Wolfjaw to tell Laura to meet us there at a certain time.  We wandered in, shed some layers, and ordered about 20 cups of coffee a piece.  We talked about the day, asked Laura how her trip to Lake Placid was, and relaxed from the day.

The drive home was just as long as the drive up, but mostly from exhaustion and not weather.  I spent a lot of time during this trip wondering about what was happening with this beautiful new lady in my life.  It was a confusing time for myself, I also knew I had some personal things going on within myself and back at home that I feared would push her away.  I had no clue what it was, but whatever it was felt good, and I wanted to hold on to it as long as possible.  We didn't talk much on the ride home, but once home life was beginning to change, and for once, I was ok with change.

My 46er Journey - Part 1 - Gray, Skylight, and Marcy

On the summit of Skylight looking towards Mount Marcy

It was early July 2017 and we were packed in the car and heading north.  I had been to New York a few times in my life, but never outside of the city.  This time we were heading upstate.  I was excited for a week of camping with my friend, but apprehensive about the uncertainty of a new area, new people, and new experiences.  We had planned to hike one day while there as we had just started our hiking journey.  On the agenda, a 17 mile loop including Mount Marcy, the highest point in New York state.  No problem we thought.....if we only knew.

The dream team at Marcy Dam

The trip up was long, 10+ hours, but I slept, played on my phone, and talked about life with Dan.  We eventually made it to the camp ground and unloaded.  I met my new friends Dan and Jenn and their kids, was promptly titled "savage" by their son, and we settled in for the night with excitement and anticipation for our early start the next morning.

We headed out to the Adirondack Loj while it was still dark and got there about 6 am.  We suited up with our camera gear, snacks, water, and hit the trail.  2 miles in we arrived at Marcy Dam as the sun beams burst over the mountain tops.  Break one, we snapped some photos, took a selfie, and continued on our way.  Our route was to take us up to a place called Lake Arnold.  After a grueling trek uphill through boulders, roots, and mud, we arrived.  What a beautiful place!!  A small mountain lake with a gorgeous backdrop and cold water.  We rested, snacked, and took more photos before heading out again.

Lake Arnold

 Our next destination was a swamp we had read about but didn't exactly know what to expect.  When we got there we saw what appeared to be floating logs in the clearest swamp water one could ever imagine.  As I stepped out for the first time and the log moved, so did my bowels.  I wasn't expecting that!!  We crossed the logs while laughing, joking, and simply enjoying life.  "What a great hike so far!!" I thought, "what's next!?!"

Crossing the floating logs

MISERY, absolute misery is what was next.  Before we go further, let me tell you about the Adirondack Mountains.  They suck!  They suck the life out of you, they suck your energy, your stamina, your sanity, and then they suck you in for more.  The routes and terrain is hard at best, miserable is a more accurate description.  They beat you up, and kick you while you're down, and then beckon you to come back for more, which you do.

Back to our journey; about 24 miles later of our 17 total mile hike we came to a place called Lake Tear of the Cloud.  This is the highest point of what eventually becomes the Hudson river, I know the Hudson from my trips to the city so this was an interesting place for me.  We settled down for a break and a lunch of our new found favorite meal of Ramen noodles with tuna fish (don't knock it 'til you've tried it).  After lunch we geared up and headed up the heard path that leads to our first summit.  Along the way we encountered a rock with about a 15 foot drop down, this ain't no trail!!  We scrambled down and continued up the mountain.  Summit!!  We made it, little did I know, this would become 1 of 46.  More selfies and photos and back down the mountain.  Off to our next destination.

At the top of Gray Mountain; 1 of 46

Four Corners is an intersection on the south side of Mount Marcy in between her and Skylight mountain.  We were getting tired and decided to only carry our cameras up Skylight.  We hid our packs and headed up.  And up.  And up.  Rocks, boulders, roots, elves, you name, we climbed over it, until we finally saw the sign informing us we were in the Alpine zone.  Alpine zone!?!?!  Did we miss a turn and end up in Alaska?  Nope!  "Welcome to upstate New York southern boy" is what it should have read.  The summit of Skylight was amazing; 2 of 46.  The clouds were moving in so the views weren't that great but the exposed rock and alpine vegetation was beautiful it self.  More pictures, more selfies, Dan got in his underwear to strike a yoga pose, and all was well in the world.  Time to descend.

Skylight Mountain; 2 of 46

Pain, that was the story of this descent.  You see, back in May I had hurt my knee on Old Rag Mountain back home, it was feeling better, until now.  I struggled down the mountain and called for a break.  I was 8 miles from the car, and in serious pain.  I was running low on food, and would not force these guys to carry me out.  You see, that's another thing about the Adirondacks, you can't give up out here.  You have to pursue, you have to dig deep, you have to overcome.  I took some Advil, stretched it out, and grabbed my pack.  We still had a mountain to climb, literally and metaphorically.  Begin the trek up Mount Marcy.  Our original reasoning in selecting this particular hike.  Up and up, back in to Alpine zone.  Back above tree line, "we can see the top!!  Oh wait, that's not it!".  Up and up some more.  We struggled up the mountain, it was tough, it was steep, we were tired.

Mount Marcy summit; 3 of 46

We finally reached the top; 3 of 46.  Nothing but clouds, wind, and cold.  I'm from Virginia, cold and July don't go in the same sentence, not the case up here.  Cold and July go hand in hand.  More selfies, a huge celebration, a group hug, and while standing on the top of New York state, I asked myself, "how the hell did I get here?".  22 months prior I tried to get sober, again.  It had been a life long struggle, and finally at wits end, I decided to do whatever it took to get and stay sober.  Part of that included doing things I had never done before.  I never hiked, or climbed, or met new people.  That's not me, or so I thought.  22 months prior I wanted to die, until I woke up one morning and wanted to live.  I had climbed my own personal Mount Marcy prior to even hearing of Mount Marcy, but here I was on top of both of them, even if just for a moment.  This is living, this is it, what's next!?!

We descended Mount Marcy, 7 miles to go to get back to the car.  Wait, 7 miles!?!?  We had already been out here for close to 10 hours, and we still have 7 miles to go!?!  The descent was long, tiring, I was out of food, and my legs were melted Jello.  Nothing left, but again, I had to make it out.  We finally got back to the car around 9 pm.  It was a long, exhausting, and rewarding day.  We made it back to camp with the experience of a lifetime, countless stories, pictures, and though I didn't know it then, a new goal in life.  Become a 46er.

So this is where the Adirondacks and I first meet.  Our love affair has began.  I currently sit at 17 of 46 in September 2018 with a finish goal of January 2020.  I will write about my other 7 trips to upstate New York, as well as document my future ones too.

It's been a hell of a ride so far, so be sure to subscribe and follow along on this crazy journey life has taken me on.