My 46er Journey - Part 10 - Haystack and Basin

September 2018 came fast and it was time to head back to the Adirondacks.  This trip however was to be much different, from the planning stages, through the end.  I wrote about this trip briefly in a previous post regarding my first time participating in 46 Climbs, you can find that post here.  I kept that entry short and left out some key points which were to be incorporated more in to this series, so hold tight cause this one is an emotional rollercoaster.

Many things were different about this trip since before we even got in the car.  For the first time, I was bringing my son Nicholas with me up to the Adirondacks.  He had done some climbs back home in Virginia with me a few times, but this was to be his first real test in the mountains.  Dan picked him up and headed over and we hit the road.  Not only was my son coming with me, I was also participating in 46 Climbs for the first time, and even better, Sunday September 2nd was my 3 year sobriety anniversary.  This trip also marked the first time we brought food with us, what a difference maker that became!!  Chicken sandwiches, eggs bacon and potatoes, and no Burger King, life was good and we felt like kings.

We hit the trail early Friday morning and headed to John's Brook Lodge, we were going to camp at the sites just past the lodge and made great time getting there.  We decided to set up camp and grab some grub before heading out.  We knew we had a long day ahead of us as we planned to get 3 peaks so fuel was a necessity.  Nicholas was doing great and keeping up, I was so happy to have my boy with me, and Dan was being Dan cracking jokes, smiling, and helping to lead the way.

We slogged our way up to Haystack, it was a busy day and we passed many hikers along the way.  After scrambling up to Little Haystack and then finally realizing we were at the wrong summit, we made it the rest of the way to Haystack for Nicholas' first high peak.  We relaxed for a few minutes and snacked.  We were socked in the clouds and couldn't see anything, but a slight break in the sky above us shown some blue and that energized us to carry on.  We headed over to Basin, by this time the long drive and lack of rest was catching up with us and our pace slowed.  The scrambles up the mountain were fun and Nicholas really enjoyed them.  We found our way to the top as the winds were picking up and the clouds were thickening.  We had never heard of the Saddleback cliffs which were in our route to the next peak.  We were informed by some other guys at the summit of Basin of them and with the rocks being slippery and uncertainty of what may lie ahead, we decided to forego Saddleback for another day.

This was a tough call for me as I was climbing for charity today, but also because we had now orphaned a peak in the middle of the great range.  At some point, we would have to come back for it.  We slowly made our way back to camp and the sun set on another beautiful day in the mountains.  Returning back to Slant Rock we ran in to an older gentleman who seemed to be in some trouble.  The man was shoeless, apparently his boots blew out coming down Mt Marcy and he had hiked back barefoot.  Andy was his name, an Adirondack veteran of about 70 years of age.  Dan gave him his crocks and asked if he needed anything else.  After making sure he was going to be ok for the night, we proceeded back to our camp.

We were all exhausted and after a brief meal we were out cold for the night.  The next morning we woke early, ate breakfast, and broke camp.  It was about that time that we saw Andy pass by with 2 other hikers carrying his pack for him.  It was nice to see he made it through the night and was safe and on his way home.  We headed out and eventually caught up with the group and hiked out together.  Andy and Dan were cutting up the whole time and made for a fun walk out of the woods.

Back in the car and headed home, we took our time getting back but were all anxious to sleep in a bed.  It was my anniversary and felt great to have started it in the woods with a man I called a brother and my son.  I was on top of the world once again, and once again, reality was about to set in.  I got back home and went about with life.  I celebrated with some great friends that week and things were going great.  I had been working with a boy named TJ for a few months and the week prior he had called to tell me he wasn't going to be attending meetings anymore, I didn't answer the phone but had talked to him through text.  I told him I would call him later that day to talk, he didn't answer.

Thursday night after my meeting Laura and I were sitting outside talking when I got a phone call around 10pm.  I'll never forget those words, "Did you hear about TJ?  He died".  Even now 2 years later writing this I well up with tears.  He had the most beautiful smile and could light up a room just by walking in it, his eyes cried of a boy who just wanted to be OK, a man who loved his son more than anything, he was genuine, loving, and funny.  I loved him so much, and always will.  I hardly slept that night, Laura and I laid in bed silent, I gazed at the ceiling and just couldn't comprehend that he was gone.

A group of us attended his funeral the following week and it was incredibly difficult.  I got to meet his family and tell them who I was, and who we were.  They were very appreciative of the help we had given him over the previous months, however they will never know the impact he had on me.  I'll never forget him and every year on my anniversary I make sure to make it known that while I am celebrating, myself, his family, and his beautiful son are all grieving for the loss of the most amazing young man I've ever known.  

I love you and miss you TJ.

My 46er Journey - Part 8 - The Interlude

Roan Mountain State Park - Tennessee

In February 2018 we returned home to Virginia from our previous trip to the Adirondacks.  We had now climbed 13 of the 46 high peaks in the Adirondacks and were getting excited about continuing our journey.  We had learned so much since that first trip less than a year prior.  So much about the mountains, the road, the experience, and ourselves.  We had learned to just keep going when you think you can't go on anymore.  We had learned that there's always something deep down inside that can push you through any adversary.  We had learned that we could rely on each other, and that things often don't work out the way you planned.

Returning home, I knew I had much uncertainty about my future.  I still hadn't found a job and the bills were piling up.  I was falling for this beautiful girl and afraid to tell her that I was unsure what was going to happen.  I didn't want to hurt someone, I didn't want to bring my baggage on to someone, I didn't want to expose myself to someone.  Then the day came, a note on the door to pick up a certified letter from the post office.  My heart sank, my stomach churned, my anxiety rose, the time had come.  I went and retrieved the letter and came back home to open it.  I had until the 31st of March to pay all the back payments on my house, or vacate the property.

Me on Grandfather Mountain, NC

There was no way I could come up with the over $8,000 that was owed to bring my payments up to date.  There was no way I could face myself or own up to this to anyone.  So I did the logical thing, and tucked the letter away and didn't say anything to anyone.  A few days went by and I knew I had to do something, so I met with my mentor and told him what was going on.  He made a few suggestions then asked if I was going to tell Laura.  I knew I obviously had to, but I didn't want to.  What would she think, would she leave, would she think I was a loser, would she never talk to me again.  Truth is, it didn't matter, because she was going to find out one way or another.  That evening I made us dinner and sat her down at the table and told her I was losing my house.  I explained everything and waited for the inevitable.  She looked at me and said "OK, well I guess we have to start packing".  WHAT!?!  Really!?!  You're not leaving?  You're not going to call me out for the loser I am?  Why?

Laura and I at Harper's Ferry, WV

She offered me encouragement and support, she helped pack when I couldn't.  At this point, we had 2 weeks to empty this house, sell what I could, throw away the trash, and pack what I couldn't sell in to storage.  Dan helped as much as he could too, and together the 3 of us got the house vacated just in time.

God had a plan all along, and He knew what He was doing.  I questioned time and time again throughout the whole ordeal but by this point I had learned to trust Him.  The last day, at the last moment, right before leaving my neighbor came out.  We had become pretty close over the years as he too was a recovering alcoholic with 18 years of sobriety.  I told him I lost the house and wasn't sure what I was going to do or even where I was going.  I told him "I can't believe with over 2 years sober I'm homeless", he looked at me and said "So what?  I was homeless at 10 years sober and God took care of me.  He will take care of you too."  I thanked him for everything and told him I would see him around.  I got in the car and pulled away.

I went to Laura's that night as she had offered for me to stay there till I figured things out.  Dan and I had a trip planned the next day and I figured the mountains would offer some solutions.  By this time Laura and I were officially a thing, but I wasn't too sure about the commitment of officially moving in together.  I knew though to do what I had been doing for 2 1/2 years now, take it one day at a time.

Dan and I at Roan Mountain, TN

Dan and I headed down to Tennessee for a few days to explore.  We stayed at Roan Mountain State Park and hiked all over Roan Mountain.  We took a day to do Grandfather Mountain in Western North Carolina, and explored a portion of the Linville Gorge.  It was a great trip and we both became homesick, or homeless sick in my case, and headed back to Virginia a few days early.

After getting back I decided I would "stay" with Laura, but I wasn't "moving in".  This became a source of comic relief for her and Dan as I refused to unpack my bags even though she had emptied a dresser for me.  I was so scared, even though she had proven to me time and time again over the past few months her dedication to me and to us, but what if I mess it up?  That's what I've always done.  Even with all the confidence I'd gained through the mountains and life, there was still that fear of failure lingering not just in the back, but all over my mind.

Me, Laura, Ken, and Dan at Hawksbill Mountain, NC

I was still struggling with the job situation but was told "just do the footwork", so I did.  I continued to apply for jobs, I got quite a few interviews and I went to them all.  Since I wasn't working and couldn't contribute financially, I pulled my weight around the house.  I cooked dinner every night, cleaned up, continued to look for work, and trusted God that everything will be alright.  Dan and I had planned to head up to New York again in June for a week or two to knock out more peaks.  By this time we had tossed around the notion of finishing our 46er on his 46th birthday which was just under 2 years away.  We knew we had our work cut out for us, but we were willing to do our best to make it happen.  We continued to hike and took a memorial day trip back to Roan Mountain with Laura and our friend Ken and the excitement for the summer continued to build.

Then it happened.  I got a job.  Start date; June 13th.

The mountains would have to wait.  God had different plans...again.

A trip back in time

This past weekend my girlfriend and I went away for the night.  It's been a little crazy recently as my photography is picking up, life is happening, and we had found ourselves busy, stressed, and needing a break.  We decided to head to West Virginia to check out the zoo and a park I had stumbled across online one night.  Just about every person in 2019 has heard of Airbnb, and most people have used it.  I've been using Airbnb for about 2 years now almost every time I travel.  It's cheaper than a hotel room but also ads a sense of adventure to your trip.

For those who don't know how Airbnb works, here is a brief synopsis.  You go online and type in the area you are looking to stay.  You set your dates, budget, and needs such as beds, privacy, hot tub, etc.  Once you find a place you like, you request to book it.  Your request is hopefully approved and then you show up at some random stranger's door hoping they aren't an ax wielding psychopath.  Sounds fun doesn't it?

Making friends

We started out a little later than expected Saturday morning and made our way to the zoo.  The zoo was an experience, from the looks when you pull in the parking lot you don't expect it to be a zoo.  I've seen petting zoos that were more inviting this than place.  We sat in the car for a few minutes wondering if we had just drove 4 hours for nothing.  After some contemplation the ol' Forest Gump mentality kicked in and I decided, "well, I've come this far, I might as well keep on going".  I sure was glad that I did.  The zoo was small, friendly, welcoming, and quite amazing.  We fed birds, played with Alpacas, and watched 2 grizzly bear cubs terrorize each other.  After a few hours of snapping photos and just enjoying the zoo we headed out to our next destination.

Cooper's Rock State Forest was an accidental find a few months back.  Neither of us had ever heard of it, but it was about 40 minutes from the zoo and semi in the direction of our room.  The weather was starting to deteriorate but we headed for it anyways.  We didn't explore much, we went to the main overlook then hiked a short trail where we almost crashed the wedding vows of Jennifer and Steve (congrats btw folks).  As we were approaching the car it began to rain so we decided to go meet our psychopath host.

I found our room a few days earlier and it was listed at a discounted rate for the night.  I knew it was a shared residence where the owner was living there as well.  I messaged him that we were on our way to which he responded that he would not be there and to let ourselves in.  The place was amazing.  We were staying in the basement of his home which he had converted in to a small apartment.  Full kitchen, bathroom, sofas, table, and a bed.  It was absolutely beautiful with an amazing view of the mountains.  We settled in and decided to go grab dinner.  We ate at the local restaurant and hit the grocery store for creamer and breakfast.

View from our room

It was a rainy cool Saturday night.  A little later in the evening we were standing outside talking, the conversation turned to the idea of how Airbnb works and how some people are skeptical about it.  How it is this new concept instead of using hotels, which made me wonder.  Is this really that new of a concept?

Lately I've been reading some books of people who have adventured across the country on bicycle.  Every book has a handful of stories about strangers that these adventures meet who let them stay in their homes for the night, or week, or however long it may be.  The general consensus from these stories is that "there are still good people in this world".  But why is it "still good people", at what point did we begin to assume every person was bad?

I don't know if I'm blessed or cursed to have lived in a pre-9/11 world in which I remember when we didn't assume all people were bad.  The rise of 24 hour news coverage, social media, and a fear driven society has morphed our thinking to assume every person out there is an ax wielding psychopath.  Every story we hear is about murder, rape, terrorism, racism, greed, etc.  Why don't we ever hear these stories about the good things in the world?

I posed the idea in our conversation that the Airbnb concept is not actually all that new, but rather a reinvention of the old way of life.  You see, back before the rise of hotels in the 20th century, travelers would find a home along their way, go up to the front door and knock and ask to stay there for the night.  The hosting family would welcome them in, often feed and bathe them, and send them on their way the next day.  Many times without asking for compensation.  While Airbnb does require payment, and is not as hospitable, the idea of staying in a random stranger's house for the night is not new.

Cooper's Rock State Forest

Is this a shift to the old way of living?  A more trusting society?  A simpler concept of people helping people?  I don't believe so unfortunately.  I still believe we will take another person's kindness with a grain of salt, that we will still choose the safe route rather than the one we can learn from.  But my hope is that we can begin to break down the barriers and start to see the good in each person again.

I've learned a lot over the last few years of adventures and traveling.  I've met a lot of great people and have seen some amazing things.  Yet the question still lingers, why do I still live in a constant state of fear from a perfect stranger?  I hope they aren't as afraid of me as I am of them, after all, I know my intentions are good, why do I suspect theirs aren't?